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Today is my birthday. I turn 70. I’ve learned a few things so far that might be helpful to others. For the past few years, I’ve jotted down bits of unsolicited advice each year and much to my surprise I have more to add this year. So here is my birthday gift to you all: 103 bits of wisdom I wish I had known when I was young.
今天是我的生日，我 70 岁了。我学到了一些东西，也许对你有用。之前我也写过不请自来的人生建议，让我惊讶的是，今年还能再写更多。所以，这是我给你们所有人的生日礼物：我希望年轻时就懂的 103 条建议。
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About 99% of the time, the right time is right now.
99% 情况下，最佳时机就是现在。 -
No one is as impressed with your possessions as you are.
没人会像你一样，对你的财产印象深刻。 -
Don’t ever work for someone you don’t want to become.
不要为那种你不想成为的人工作。 -
Cultivate 12 people who love you, because they are worth more than 12 million people who like you.
12 个爱你的人，比 12,000,000 个喜欢你的人更值得。 -
Don’t keep making the same mistakes; try to make new mistakes.
别犯同样的错；试一些新错。 -
If you stop to listen to a musician or street performer for more than a minute, you owe them a dollar.
如果你不停下一分钟来听听音乐家或街头表演者的演奏，你就欠他们一块钱。 -
Anything you say before the word “but” does not count.
「但是」之前的任何话都不算数。 -
When you forgive others, they may not notice, but you will heal. Forgiveness is not something we do for others; it is a gift to ourselves.
当你原谅一个人，对方未必知道，但你会自愈。原谅，不是为了别人，那是给自己的礼物。 -
Courtesy costs nothing. Lower the toilet seat after use. Let the people in the elevator exit before you enter. Return shopping carts to their designated areas. When you borrow something, return it better shape (filled up, cleaned) than when you got it.
变礼貌不要钱。用完马桶后放下坐垫。让别人先出电梯。将购物车推到指定位置。还东西时，让它比借来时更好（填满、干净）。 -
Whenever there is an argument between two sides, find the third side.
但凡有两方在争论，去找第三方。 -
Efficiency is highly overrated; Goofing off is highly underrated. Regularly scheduled sabbaths, sabbaticals, vacations, breaks, aimless walks and time off are essential for top performance of any kind. The best work ethic requires a good rest ethic.
效率被过度高估，而玩乐则被过度低估。定期安排的安息日、公休日、假期、休息日、漫无目的的散步和休息时间对于任何类型的顶级业绩都必不可少。最好的工作道德需要良好的休息道德。 -
When you lead, your real job is to create more leaders, not more followers.
领导的真正工作是培养更多领导，而不是粉丝。 -
Criticize in private, praise in public.
私下批评，公开表扬。 -
Life lessons will be presented to you in the order they are needed. Everything you need to master the lesson is within you. Once you have truly learned a lesson, you will be presented with the next one. If you are alive, that means you still have lessons to learn.
生活会不断给你教训。你只能靠自己掌握它。一旦你真正学到教训，你就会得到下一个。还活着，意味着还有教训在等待。 - It is the duty of a student to get everything out of a teacher, and the duty of a teacher to get everything out of a student.
从老师身上学得一切是学生的责任，从学生身上挖掘一切是老师的责任。 - If winning becomes too important in a game, change the rules to make it more fun. Changing rules can become the new game.
如果在游戏中获胜太重要，那就更改规则来让它更有趣。改变规则可以收获新游戏。 -
Ask funders for money, and they’ll give you advice; but ask for advice and they’ll give you money.
问投资者要钱，他们会给你建议。但问他们建议，他们会给你钱。 - Productivity is often a distraction. Don’t aim for better ways to get through your tasks as quickly as possible, rather aim for better tasks that you never want to stop doing.
效率常常会分散注意力。别找那种可以快速完成任务的更好的方法，而是找那种你永远不会不想做的更好的任务。 -
Immediately pay what you owe to vendors, workers, contractors. They will go out of their way to work with you first next time.
供应商、工人、承包商的钱要马上付。下次他们会第一个跟你合作。 -
The biggest lie we tell ourselves is “I don't need to write this down because I will remember it.”
我们跟自己说过最大的谎言是「我不需要记下来，我记得住。」 -
Your growth as a conscious being is measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations you are willing to have.
作为一个有意识的人，你的成长由那些让你不舒服但愿意进行的对话的数量所决定。 -
Speak confidently as if you are right, but listen carefully as if you are wrong.
如果你是对的，你就自信说，但如果你是错的，你要听仔细。 -
Handy measure: the distance between your fingertips of your outstretched arms at shoulder level is your height.
方便的测量方法：把两个手臂伸直，与肩同高，两边指尖之间的长度就是你的身高。 -
The consistency of your endeavors (exercise, companionship, work) is more important than the quantity. Nothing beats small things done every day, which is way more important than what you do occasionally.
付出（锻炼、陪伴、工作）的连续性比数量更重要。日拱一卒，比偶尔为之更重要。
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Making art is not selfish; it’s for the rest of us. If you don’t do your thing, you are cheating us.
搞艺术并不自私，那是为了大家；如果你不搞，那是在欺骗大家。 -
Never ask a woman if she is pregnant. Let her tell you if she is.
永远不要问一个女人是不是怀孕了。如果她怀孕了，让她自己告诉你。 -
Three things you need: The ability to not give up something till it works, the ability to give up something that does not work, and the trust in other people to help you distinguish between the two.
你需要三样东西：不奏效就不放弃的毅力、不奏效也敢放弃的魄力，以及，对一个能够帮你分辨两者的人的信任。
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When public speaking, pause frequently. Pause before you say something in a new way, pause after you have said something you believe is important, and pause as a relief to let listeners absorb details.
公开演讲时，频繁暂停一下。换新方式说之前，暂停一下；说了重点之后，暂停一下。把暂停作为一种缓冲，让观众吸收细节。 -
There is no such thing as being “on time.” You are either late or you are early. Your choice.
没有「准时」一说。要么早，要么晚。你自己选。 -
Ask anyone you admire: Their lucky breaks happened on a detour from their main goal. So embrace detours. Life is not a straight line for anyone.
问问你钦佩的人你就知道，他们的幸运发生在远离主要目标的弯道上。所以要拥抱弯路。任何人的生活都不会一帆风顺。 -
The best way to get a correct answer on the internet is to post an obviously wrong answer and wait for someone to correct you.
获得一个正确答案的最佳方法是发布一个明显错误的答案，然后等待别人来纠正你。 -
You’ll get 10x better results by elevating good behavior rather than punishing bad behavior, especially in children and animals.
通过提升好行为而不是惩罚坏行为，你会得到 10 倍良效，特别是在儿童和动物身上。 -
Spend as much time crafting the subject line of an email as the message itself because the subject line is often the only thing people read.
花同样多的时间来打磨电子邮件标题，因为那往往是人们阅读的唯一内容。 -
Don’t wait for the storm to pass; dance in the rain.
别等待暴风雨过去。在雨中跳舞吧。 -
When checking references for a job applicant, employers may be reluctant or prohibited from saying anything negative, so leave or send a message that says, “Get back to me if you highly recommend this applicant as super great.” If they don’t reply take that as a negative.
在检查求职者的推荐信时，雇主可能不愿意或不能说任何负面东西，所以会这么说：「如果你认为这位求职者超级棒，强烈推荐，请回信。」如果他们不回，可以当作一种否定。 -
Use a password manager: Safer, easier, better.
用一个密码管理软件吧，更安全、更简单、更好用。 -
Half the skill of being educated is learning what you can ignore.
有一半教育技能是学习你可以忽略什么。 -
The advantage of a ridiculously ambitious goal is that it sets the bar very high so even in failure it may be a success measured by the ordinary.
一个荒谬但雄心勃勃的目标的好处是，它把标准定得如此之高，即使失败，在普通人眼里也是成功的。 -
A great way to understand yourself is to seriously reflect on everything you find irritating in others.
了解自己的一个好方法是认真反思别人身上令你讨厌的一切东西。 -
Keep all your things visible in a hotel room, not in drawers, and all gathered into one spot. That way you’ll never leave anything behind. If you need to have something like a charger off to the side, place a couple of other large items next to it, because you are less likely to leave 3 items behind than just one.
在酒店房间里，把你所有的东西都集中放在一个显眼的地方，而不要放在抽屉里。这样你就不会落下任何东西。如果你需要把充电器之类的东西放在一边，就在旁边放几件其它大物件，因为你留下三件物品的可能性比只留下一件要小。 -
Denying or deflecting a compliment is rude. Accept it with thanks, even if you believe it is not deserved.
拒绝或回避赞美是不礼貌的。即使你认为它不值得，也要感恩接受。 -
Always read the plaque next to the monument.
始终阅读纪念碑旁边的牌匾。 -
When you have some success, the feeling of being an imposter can be real. Who am I fooling? But when you create things that only you — with your unique talents and experience — can do, then you are absolutely not an imposter. You are the ordained. It is your duty to work on things that only you can do.
当你有一些成功的时候，作为一个冒牌货的感觉可能是真实的——我在愚弄谁呢？但当你创造出只有你——以你独特的才能和经验——才能做到的事情时，你绝对不是冒牌货。你是受命者。从事只有你能做的事情是你的职责。 -
What you do on your bad days matters more than what you do on your good days.
你在坏日子里做的事，比在好日子里做的事更重要。 -
Make stuff that is good for people to have.
做一些对人们有用的东西。 -
When you open paint, even a tiny bit, it will always find its way to your clothes no matter how careful you are. Dress accordingly.
当你要用颜料，哪怕是一丁点，无论你多么小心，它总会沾到你的衣服。穿好防护。 -
To keep young kids behaving on a car road trip, have a bag of their favorite candy and throw a piece out the window each time they misbehave.
要让小朋友在汽车公路旅行时保持良好的行为习惯，可以准备一袋他们最喜欢的糖果，每次他们行为不端时就往窗外扔一块。 -
You cannot get smart people to work extremely hard just for money.
你不可能让聪明人为了钱而 996。 -
When you don’t know how much to pay someone for a particular task, ask them “what would be fair” and their answer usually is.
当你不知道该为某项任务付给某人多少钱时，问他们「怎样才公平」，他们的回答通常是（？）。 -
90% of everything is crap. If you think you don’t like opera, romance novels, TikTok, country music, vegan food, NFTs, keep trying to see if you can find the 10% that is not crap.
90% 的东西都是垃圾。如果你认为自己不喜欢歌剧、言情小说、TikTok、乡村音乐、素食、NFT，请继续尝试，看看能否找到那不是垃圾的 10%。 -
You will be judged on how well you treat those who can do nothing for you.
你会怎样对待那些不能为你做什么的人？人们将据此评价你。 -
We tend to overestimate what we can do in a day, and underestimate what we can achieve in a decade. Miraculous things can be accomplished if you give it ten years. A long game will compound small gains to overcome even big mistakes.
我们往往高估自己一天能做的事，而低估自己十年能取得的成就。十年时间可以完成奇迹般的事情。在一个漫长的游戏里，让小收益滚雪球也能抵消大错误。 -
Thank a teacher who changed your life.
感谢改变你人生的老师。 -
You cant reason someone out of a notion that they didn’t reason themselves into.
你不能从一个他们没有自己推理的概念中推理出一个人。 -
Your best job will be one that you were unqualified for because it stretches you. In fact only apply to jobs you are unqualified for.
你最好的工作将是一份你不够资格做的工作，因为它能使你得到锻炼。事实上，你应该申请你还不够资格的工作。 -
Buy used books. They have the same words as the new ones. Also libraries.
买二手书。它们有和新书一样的文字。或去图书馆借。 -
You can be whatever you want, so be the person who ends meetings early.
你可以成为你想成为的任何人，所以，做那个提前结束会议的人。 -
A wise man said, “Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates. At the first gate, ask yourself, “Is it true?” At the second gate ask, “Is it necessary?” At the third gate ask, “Is it kind?”
一位智者曾说，在你说出想法之前，让想法先走三道门。在第一道门，问自己：「这是真的？」在第二道门问：「有必要？」在第三道门则问：「它仁慈吗？」 -
Take the stairs.
走楼梯。 -
What you actually pay for something is at least twice the listed price because of the energy, time, money needed to set it up, learn, maintain, repair, and dispose of at the end. Not all prices appear on labels. Actual costs are 2x listed prices.
你为某样东西实际支付的费用至少是标价的两倍，因为还需要花费精力、时间、金钱来设置、学习、维护、修理、善后。不是所有价格都写在价标上。实价会是标价的 2 倍。 -
When you arrive at your room in a hotel, locate the emergency exits. It only takes a minute.
下榻旅馆后，看看紧急出口在哪儿。那只要一会儿。 -
The only productive way to answer “what should I do now?” is to first tackle the question of “who should I become?”
要回答「我现在该干嘛」的最高效方式是先搞清楚「我想成为怎样的人」。 -
Average returns sustained over an above-average period of time yield extraordinary results. Buy and hold.
在高于平均水平的时间内，持续的平均回报会产生非凡结果。买入并持有。 -
It’s thrilling to be extremely polite to rude strangers.
对粗鲁的陌生人极其礼貌是一种魄力。 -
It’s possible that a not-so smart person, who can communicate well, can do much better than a super smart person who can’t communicate well. That is good news because it is much easier to improve your communication skills than your intelligence.
一个不太聪明的人，若能好好沟通，有可能比一个超级聪明但不能好好沟通的人做得更好。这是个好消息，因为提高沟通能力比提高智力容易得多。 -
Getting cheated occasionally is the small price for trusting the best of everyone, because when you trust the best in others, they generally treat you best.
相信每个人的好会有小代价——偶尔受骗。因为当你信任每个人的好，他们一般也会对你最好。 -
Art is whatever you can get away with.
艺术是让你逃脱一切的避风港。 -
For the best results with your children, spend only half the money you think you should, but double the time with them.
要想在孩子身上取得最好的效果，你可以只花一半你认为应该花的钱，但要花双倍的时间陪伴。 -
Purchase the most recent tourist guidebook to your home town or region. You’ll learn a lot by playing the tourist once a year.
每年买一本你家乡的最新旅游指南并做一次游客，你会学到很多。 -
Don’t wait in line to eat something famous. It is rarely worth the wait.
不要排队吃网红餐。很少值得。 -
To rapidly reveal the true character of a person you just met, move them onto an abysmally slow internet connection. Observe.
要迅速了解一个你刚认识的人的真实性格，带对方去一个网络慢得不能再慢的地方，然后观察。 -
Prescription for popular success: do something strange. Make a habit of your weird.
受欢迎的成功处方：做一些奇怪的事。让怪异成为一种习惯。 -
Be a pro. Back up your back up. Have at least one physical backup and one backup in the cloud. Have more than one of each. How much would you pay to retrieve all your data, photos, notes, if you lost them? Backups are cheap compared to regrets.
高阶做法：做双重备份。至少要有一个物理备份和一个云端备份，并且各有备选方案。如果丢失了所有数据、照片、笔记，你会花多少钱来找回它们？与遗憾相比，备份很便宜。 -
Don’t believe everything you think you believe.
不要相信你认为自己相信的一切东西。 -
To signal an emergency, use the rule of three; 3 shouts, 3 horn blasts, or 3 whistles.
要发出紧急信号，使用 3 次原则：喊叫 3 次、鸣笛 3 次或吹 3 次口哨。 -
At a restaurant do you order what you know is great, or do you try something new? Do you make what you know will sell or try something new? Do you keep dating new folks or try to commit to someone you already met? The optimal balance for exploring new things vs exploiting them once found is: 1/3. Spend 1/3 of your time on exploring and 2/3 time on deepening. It is harder to devote time to exploring as you age because it seems unproductive, but aim for 1/3.
在餐厅，你是点你知道的好东西，还是尝试新东西？你是做你知道会卖的东西还是尝试新东西？你是继续和新朋友约会，还是试着对已经认识的人做出承诺？探索新事物还是继续深入，最佳平衡点是 1/3。1/3 时间用于探索，2/3 时间用于深入。随着年龄增长，花时间探索比较困难，因为这似乎无益，但最好有 1/3。 -
Actual great opportunities do not have “Great Opportunities” in the subject line.
真正的好机会，不会太显而易见。 -
When introduced to someone make eye contact and count to 4. You’ll both remember each other.
被介绍时，要与对方眼神接触并数 4 秒。这样你们都会记住对方。 -
Take note if you find yourself wondering “Where is my good knife? Or, where is my good pen?” That means you have bad ones. Get rid of those.
如果你发现自己在找那把好刀或好笔，说明它们并不好。扔掉它们。 -
When you are stuck, explain your problem to others. Often simply laying out a problem will present a solution. Make “explaining the problem” part of your troubleshooting process.
当你不解，向别人解释你的问题。通常情况下，简单地摆出问题就能得到解决方案。让「解释问题」成为你解决麻烦过程的一部分。 -
When buying a garden hose, an extension cord, or a ladder, get one substantially longer than you think you need. It’ll be the right size.
买花园水管、延长线或梯子时，买一个比你需要的还长的。那才是正确尺寸。 -
Don’t bother fighting the old; just build the new.
不要费力与旧事物作斗争。建立新事物就好了。 -
Your group can achieve great things way beyond your means simply by showing people that they are appreciated.
只需向你的团队表达感激之情，他们就能取得超出你能力范围的伟大成就。 -
When someone tells you about the peak year of human history, the period of time when things were good before things went downhill, it will always be the years of when they were 10 years old — which is the peak of any human’s existence.
当有人告诉你她/他的人生高峰在哪一年，那总是他们 10 岁的时候——那是所有人的人生高峰。 -
You are as big as the things that make you angry.
让你生气的事情有多大，你的心胸就有多大。 -
When speaking to an audience it’s better to fix your gaze on a few people than to “spray” your gaze across the room. Your eyes telegraph to others whether you really believe what you are saying.
演讲时，把目光固定在几个人身上，比把目光洒满整个房间要好。你的眼睛会告诉别人你是否真的相信你所说的话。 -
Habit is far more dependable than inspiration. Make progress by making habits. Don’t focus on getting into shape. Focus on becoming the kind of person who never misses a workout.
习惯远比灵感更可靠。通过养成习惯来取得进步。不要把注意力放在塑身上，而要专注于成为那种从不错过锻炼的人。 -
When negotiating, don’t aim for a bigger piece of the pie; aim to create a bigger pie.
谈判时，不要把目标定在一块更大的蛋糕上，而是定在创造一个更大的蛋糕上。 -
If you repeated what you did today 365 more times will you be where you want to be next year?
如果你把今天所做之事重复 365 次，明年你会获得你想要的吗？ -
You see only 2% of another person, and they see only 2% of you. Attune yourselves to the hidden 98%.
你只看到一个人的 2%，他们也只看到你的 2%。让你自己与那隐藏的 98% 调和。 -
Your time and space are limited. Remove, give away, throw out things in your life that don’t spark joy any longer in order to make room for those that do.
你的时间和空间是有限的。清除、放弃、扔掉生活中不再带来快乐的东西，以为那些真正带来快乐的东西腾出空间。 -
Our descendants will achieve things that will amaze us, yet a portion of what they will create could have been made with today’s materials and tools if we had had the imagination. Think bigger.
我们的后代将取得令我们惊奇的成就，然而，如果我们有足够的想象力，他们的一部分创造可以基于今天的材料和工具来实现。想远一点。 -
For a great payoff be especially curious about the things you are not interested in.
为了获得巨大回报，要对自己不感兴趣的事情特别好奇。 -
Focus on directions rather than destinations. Who knows their destiny? But maintain the right direction and you’ll arrive at where you want to go.
专注于方向而不是目的地。谁知道自己终将走向哪里呢。保持正确的方向，你就会到达你想去的地方。 -
Every breakthrough is at first laughable and ridiculous. In fact if it did not start out laughable and ridiculous, it is not a breakthrough.
每一个突破，一开始都令人觉得好笑、荒谬。事实上，如果它一开始不是这样，就不会是突破。 -
If you loan someone $20 and you never see them again because they are avoiding paying you back, that makes it worth $20.
如果你借给别人 20 块钱，而对方因为不想还钱所以不想见你，这 20 块钱就花得很值。 -
Copying others is a good way to start. Copying yourself is a disappointing way to end.
模仿别人是一种好的开始方式。重复自己却是一种令人失望的结束方式。 -
The best time to negotiate your salary for a new job is the moment AFTER they say they want you, and not before. Then it becomes a game of chicken for each side to name an amount first, but it is to your advantage to get them to give a number before you do.
为一份新工作谈判薪水的最佳时机是在他们说要你之后，而不是之前。虽然这变成了谁先说就谁获利的鸡肋游戏，但让他们在你之前给出一个数字对你是有利的。 -
Rather than steering your life to avoid surprises, aim directly for them.
与其避开生活中的意外，不如直接瞄准它们。 -
Don’t purchase extra insurance if you are renting a car with a credit card.
如果你用信用卡租车，就不要购买额外保险。 -
If your opinions on one subject can be predicted from your opinions on another, you may be in the grip of an ideology. When you truly think for yourself your conclusions will not be predictable.
如果你对一个问题的看法可以从你对另一个问题的看法中预测出来，你可能被一种意识形态控制了。当你真正为自己思考，你的结论不会被预测。 -
Aim to die broke. Give to your beneficiaries before you die; it’s more fun and useful. Spend it all. Your last check should go to the funeral home and it should bounce.
争取死时千金散尽。死前给你的受益人，这更有趣，更有用。花光所有的钱吧，你的最后一张支票应该交给殡仪馆，而且应该跳票。 -
The chief prevention against getting old is to remain astonished.
防止变老的主要方法是保持惊奇。
原文：103 Bits of Advice I Wish I Had Known
作者：Kevin Kelly
链接：https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known
照片：by Christopher Michel（https://www.christophermichel.com/）
译文：https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/LvH3PUDwea4ZsxsbZWRuFg
103 Bits of Advice I Wish I Had Known：截图
「凯文 · 凯利 70 岁生日给年轻人 103 条人生建议：https://0xo.net/1962」
「凯文 · 凯利 70 岁生日给年轻人 103 条人生建议：https://0xo.net/1962」
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